20 Minutes

Sometimes you just need to free write.
Sometimes I need to reevaluate things.
Sometimes people surprise you.

My father says, expect nothing and you will never be disappointed. He also said that he's the only person I could rely on. I have a very short list of people I can trust to never lie or intentionally hurt me. I do expect those people to never disappoint me in that regard. They should know and believe that they will always have my unconditional love if they always have my best interest in mind.

Today, it feels like that list got a little shorter. Some people may get a second, third or even fourth chance with me but once that trust is gone, it is almost impossible to get it back. Multiple occurrences of questionable moves and statements have been made that lead me to make some alterations. 

But the kicker...

I was willing to invest more in this relationship because I could provide something the other party is incapable of doing and hoped we could start fresh, on the right foot and earn some time to make things right. It would be beneficial for all parties involved. However, in an instance, my existence was irrelevant and I was dismissed.

With that, I have decided to redirect my efforts and focus elsewhere. I can't fix a problem when the same problem continues to reoccur. I attempted to be part of the solution but it was denied. I tried. I failed. I will make the most of this, learn from it and keep moving on.

And have some whisky.


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