Monday, November 4, 2013

Say Something I'm Giving Up On You

Thanks to a YouTube email sending me a link of the story behind Christina Aguilera connecting to A Great Big World's song, 'Say Something.'

I have been a fan of Christina Aguilera's since her very first single, Genie in a Bottle. I remember playing it for my high school sweetheart and he wasn't too impressed. What did he know? We clearly aren't together anymore. :) Since then and especially after her Stripped album, I have connected with her being a strong, bold, independent woman with a guarded soft and vulnerable side. With every album, there have been tracks that feel like she knows exactly what I can't express or her songs remind me of who I am or want to be. The bonus is her incredible talent that give me chills. When she sings, I don't hear anything else.




My all-time favorite song of hers is The Voice Within.  Being as independent as I am can be lonely at times but I am a strong believer that you have the power to make yourself happy and you are the only one you can truly rely on. If you are not happy or cannot accept you for who you are, how can you make someone else happy? You can't rely on someone to always make you happy. Trust can be broken. Disappointment happens. When bad things happen, it's natural to put the blame on someone or something because you're hurt. "Blaming others emerges as the result of an inability to manage anger and hurt." (Forgive For Good by Frederic Luskin.)"When there's no one else, look inside yourself." This song tells me to look at myself, rely on myself, allow myself to fall apart but know I can be strong, can get thru this, can make it better, can learn from the experience. This song keeps me going every single time I am at my weakest. There are a very small few that I can open up completely to. I am thankful for them. 

Her Bionic album is my second favorite album. There, 'You Lost Me' is about the pain of betrayal. "I feel like a worlds been infected." Not all lyrics are applicable to my story, in particular "we had magic" because it was far from a fairy tale  but the jist is there and true. When I first heard it, I had no idea that it would soon have a deeper meaning to me. 

Her latest album, Lotus, brought me 'Empty Words.'  "The thing about hurting people is they tend to hurt people. The only thing about lies is they're only lies." I am still on a forgiveness path but am not quite on track. It is really difficult to forgive and move on when attempts fail time and time again. I wonder if they're trying to be better human beings too after such ruthless events. Then you move on to just accepting the fact that they are who they are and forgiveness, even though it has never been requested, will be granted when it's all said and done. Maybe it's bitterness or experiencing being single, but words also are nothing without action behind it. 

Then sometimes there are no words, no explanation, no expectation of future communication, just silence. It's like you're lost in a blizzard. It's cold, lonely, you can't see what's going on around you or which direction to move towards when you finally are able to or decide to move. You try to wait, be patient and hope it won't last forever. H.O.P.E. - Healing Our Past Experiences (Forgive For Good.)  The first time I heard 'Say Something' was on a random night while eating dinner while my roommate was watching So You Think You Can Dance. The piano, my favorite instrument drew me in. The first line, "Say something I'm giving up on you" made me so sad. It's exactly what I wanted to say.

Now to hear Xtina connecting to the track, it hit home even more. And it is so appropriate for her to appear on a track that I don't think I would ever have discovered.

Time flies, things happen for a reason, people change and people stay the same. In the end, thru the pain and good times, I'll still be singing "Best of Me." 


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